• I’m delighted, relieved and slightly amazed that I made it through the whole weekend, including Three 6 nations rugby games, with not a drop of wine, cider or anything else intoxicating ! Horray!

I am well aware how ridiculous that sounds to people who don’t drink – or don’t drink like me anyway … 3 days ? Really ??? And that’s an achievement ? Well, it is for me anyway- and one day soon, I know it will be the norm and not such an e cause to feel proud, but right now 🌷 for me.

I also know that, having tried this alcohol fre life for a while before, quite soon the wine witch will start ” you can have just one” , ” you are not That bad” , on and on and on. So my favourite tricks to escape that incessant internal dialogue are:

1. play the tape to the end – borrowed this one from AA. It won’t be one glass of chilled wine in the garden, having a nice chat. It will be one bottle – and them some, and a shitty hangover wiping out the next day
2. remember some of the things you have done through drinking. Too shameful to repeat right now, but resident in the recesses of my consciousness nevertheless..  Remember those things
3. Wait 5 minutes – you can wait 5 minutes for anything – and usually it doesn’t see, like such a good idea in 5 minutes time …

My plan , in starting this blog , is to do something different this time. I’m too scared to go to AA , for my own reasons; but I do need support. I have told my partner, but that’s all right now … This is my support that I will use to grow and muse and consider what my new, sober life will look like.

i want to not Want to drink. That’s where I’m trying to get to…

Love AF 16 x