The train

It was explained to me on an Internet site,  that you can think of  continuing drinking as being on a train track – once you realise you’ve lost control of your drinking and you’re on that track you can get off as soon as you want. If you don’t get off, the ultimate destination is  death.

On the way there are the stations: debt, broken marriage, trouble with the law, injury, lost friendships, shame etc. You don’t have to stay on the train that long. You can get off at any time, but if you don’t, if you can’t, you will pass through at least some of these stations on the way to the terminus -death.

Realising that you’re an alcoholic or a problem drinker or whatever you’re most comfortable saying BEFORE you’ve lost too much is a gift. You can take action now rather than waiting for things to get worse. Living in the uncertainty of what the next disaster would be (and there always I s a next one) is like living in a constant fog of impending doom,  waiting for the axe to fall.

You , no I , can get off that train at any time …

‘Not as bad as others.. yet” That’s something I have identified with in other writings about drinkers; i have not been in trouble with the law, have not lost my job, children or relationships through alcohol YET.

But I see how close the line is between NOW when things are ok, and one small error and the whole house of cards could come tumbling down.

I have ‘only’ been drinking 60 -70 units a week ONLY ??? what the fuck – that is 5 x the recommended limits – and its impacting negatively on MY life. I have missed work due to drinking in the last  year – ok, only once – but countless more days I have been below standard, irritable and performed poorly because I have been hungover ….

Its time to stop. While I am my family are still intact.

Today is day 12


4 comments

  1. Thank you for directing me to this post! How ironic that I’m reading it on my 12th day.

    I love this story because it’s so true. We may not think we’re as bad off as others. But we were on our way. Every time I relapsed I got worse. So I know one of those other stations were bound to happen. I’m glad I got off when I did. And thank you for being an inspiration to make it.

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