Early sobriety

Do you remember the first wobbly days of sobriety ?

I remember clinging on, hour by hour – sometimes in blocks of 5 minutes at a time, holding on to the thought that alcohol was harming me, and that I had to get away from it. I remember feeling raw, as though my skin was rubbed with sandpaper all over. As though each nerve ending was super sensitive. I had no equilibrium, and no idea how to manage trigger points without alcohol. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t look past that day.

That’s where I am now. 

And although there have been so many good times with exP, and he’s not ‘bad’ for me like alcohol. I’m not sure he’s that good for my family either. 

Today I have hoovered up an enormous cobweb. I have seen my mother. I have arranged for new keys to be cut. Now I HAVE to answer a few emails. Later son 1 and 3 will come home, the Internet food order will arrive so I can feed them. 

And that is all I can do. That’s it. But it’s probably OK, enough. For another day. 


3 comments

  1. You are doing so well Lily I know you must feel like your heart has been ripped out, you have been sober for so long now and done so well, keep it up. If only you knew how you are helping me stay sober and all your followers. You done well today Big Hugs.

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  2. Lily I thought of you so many times yesterday. I had a rough day and I kept thinking “if Lily can deal with what she has to deal with today I certainly should be able to muscle through”. And I did and I am rested and better today. I am wishing you peace as well.

    Break ups are so hard and I would imagine especially when newly sober. I believe you are doing the right thing and the only way to the other side is through it. Healthy Jenn wrote such a wonderful post which you may have seen but I have linked it just in case.

    https://healthyjenn.com/

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