One step at a time

Today is Saturday.

yesterday the boys and I rearranged quite a bit of our downstairs furniture; to suit our new, smaller family of 4. We also packed up most of the obvious things , books etc, that belong to my ex P. So there are several boxes in the Hall, but the place feels more spacious, and more ‘us’.

i went for a good long walk with K, and had a right old moan – bless her, she has so much to cope with but still lends me a listening ear.. And thoughtful advice.

and then I went to collect the picture above. Yes, it’s a Hirst print. And I totally love it. Had it framed , collected it today and son no3 (11) hung it for me.

Ive had such lovely supportive comments here from so many of you. I do thank you. I’m actually ok. The weeping has stopped, deep inside I really really know that I could not have done more to make the relationship work. So I’m sad, but I know, really, that this end is the right thing for me, and for my kids.

so. On Monday I will go back to work. Boys will go back to school, life will resume, with an exP shaped hole, but we will manage ….

I am very nearly SIX months sober (12/09/16) and I’m breathing, and my boys are ok. Lola is ok. Tomorrow I will make a goal list. Short term, medium and long term. They don’t all have to be massive, but goals help me focus. And focus helps me look forward , not back.

Lily šŸŒ· xx

 


8 comments

  1. When my ex left it was his decision. I think it was easier for me to move forward because I had no control. There was no decision on my part to second guess. I had no choice. But I think it would be harder to be in your shoes. I admire your strength, you are really handling this with aplomb and grace. And sober too!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Talking RESPONSIBILITY for ending the relationship is hard, Saying – “his is not good enough for me”, when there are of course still many thing about it that ARE good – that’s hard. But at least I have been prepared for it. I have been thinking about it seriously for at least 2 years – so I have done a lot of MY soul searching already ….

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  2. You sound like you really are grabbing the bull by the horns now Lily. Moving forward and focusing on what’s important. Nearly 6 months is just phenomenal and I hope to share that milestone with you one day. I love love love that picture! šŸ™‚

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  3. Lily, i love your idea of goal lists. It doesn’t have to be anything huge but it does help you keep focused. It’s great you have kept your sobriety in tacked throughout everything that’s been going on. You deserve a medal. (just think how much harder it would all be if you were still drinking though) xxx

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