Wobbly

I’m  a very wobbly sober person today.

I went walking with my ExP for 2 hours this afternoon. It’s now 6 weeks since we separated. Some of his stuff is in boxes, a very small amount has left the premesis. I don’t think either of us have fully ‘let go’ of one another , or of urbshared hopes for the future.

the talk we had this afternoon , kind of confirmed to us – well to me, that we really have insoluble problems. And that I am just going to have to deal with that, there really is nowhere to go and no possible compromise that will allow us to remain in any kind of a relationship.

i went to yoga, struggled to concentrate and found tears falling down, as we performed  different moves. I feel utterly exhausted, defeated and overwhelmingly sad .

i can’t face getting his stuff out, he has nowhere to put it. And either he packs it, which means he will be here for hours and hours , over several days: or I do, which I don’t have the energy for right now.

Im sober, but fucking miserable.

my middle son. Although he knows I am not drinking , he suggested a gin and tonic might be good for me sometimes…. I dread to think what messages I am projecting.

sad, lonely, and defeated today 😟😟😥😥🌷


10 comments

  1. So sorry Lily you are feeling sad. You are doing the right thing and will get through this. I know you will find peace. Have him pack his stuff when you are all out of the house Tell him he has between 9-2 and it must all be gone. He will have to figure it out. I wish you all the best.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Dear Lily. You are doing the right thing although the pain is unbearable at times but you know its for the best for you and your boys. I would pack up all his belongings rather than have him in the house, Its not your problem he has no where to put it. You have supported him long enough. Your still a young lady and there will be a wonderful man out there for you when the time is right. Well done for staying sober it must be so hard. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s okay to feel miserable. It’s human. Im pleased you went to yoga and I’m pleased you didnt drink. By not drinking you are sending a strong message to your son that alcohol would not and does not help.I hope you feel happier and stronger soon, just give it time to pass. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sad and lonely, yes I understand that. But defeated? No way! This is not a defeat. You are doing really well; taking the path that you know is right, despite it hurting like hell, shows how much inner strength you have.

    Using all that strength is tiring, though – be kind to yourself.

    Re middle son – remember, he will be imbibing society’s attitudes to alcohol, not just messages from you – and you can now send him a really powerful, helpful message about booze that will help counteract society’s insistent that everything can come right at “gin o’clock” (I really dislike that phrase!)

    Wishing you a more peaceful week this week.

    Like


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