Today I am happy. Actually Happy.
I had forgotten what it was like to live without anxiety. stress. unhappiness. resentment. That’s pretty sad isn’t it.
My home is a mess, my bedroom especially. I’m broke, we are about to get a new puppy and I have no idea how I will manage, work is bonkers busy and we have a shortage of staff, but I’m happy.
I have my health, my children are well, home is a much more relaxed. loving, supportive place. I went cycling this morning with son #1, as I started work late, and covered a good distance. I enjoyed his company. I am beginning to address ‘issues’ in my therapy. I am sober.
I thought I would be miserable without ExP; I thought I would pine and miss him. Do you know what, I don’t really. Some days I do. I miss what I thought we could have had. I miss the dreams for the future we had. But I have lost a huge burden of anger and frustration by not beating my head against the brick wall of his NOT LISTENING. or listening but not changing anything. And so I feel lighter. Much lighter.
Today I feel that my future is bright. I can shape it how I want. I’m sober, and free, and healthy; and still reasonably young
And I’m giving thanks for my blessings, of which there are many