Happy

Today I am happy. Actually Happy.

I had forgotten what it was like to live without anxiety. stress. unhappiness. resentment. That’s pretty sad isn’t it.

My home is a mess, my bedroom especially. I’m broke, we are about to get a new puppy and I have no idea how I will manage, work is bonkers busy and we have a shortage of staff,  but I’m happy.

I have my health, my children are well, home is a much more relaxed. loving, supportive place. I went cycling this morning with son #1, as I started work late, and covered a good distance. I enjoyed his company. I am beginning to address ‘issues’ in my therapy. I am sober.

I thought I would be miserable without ExP; I thought I would pine and miss him. Do you know what, I don’t really. Some days I do. I miss what I thought we could have had. I miss the dreams for the future we had. But I have lost a huge burden of anger and frustration by not beating my head against the brick wall of his NOT LISTENING. or listening but not changing anything.  And so I feel lighter. Much lighter.

Today I feel that my future is bright. I can shape it how I want. I’m sober, and free, and healthy; and still reasonably young

And I’m giving thanks for my blessings, of which there are many


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