yesterday my eldest son, B, turned 18. In the U.K. This makes him legally an adult, with all the rights and responsibilities this brings. He is allowed to vote, to drink alcohol, to marry or join the armed forces without parental consent. My rights, as his mum, are diminished – he has complete rights to privacy with respect to his medical treatment; if he gets into trouble I will no longer be automatically informed, I’m not responsible for any debts or credit arrangements he might make, and he is counted as an adult in the census….
we had a party for him yesterday. Something that would probably not have been possible were ExP still here. We invited my ex husband and extended family too. I never fell out with my ex brother and sister in law but haven’t seen a lot of them – it was lovely to catch up. I wanted B to feel loved, valued and supported – I think he did.
I ordered some champagne , and everyone drank a toast – I drank becks blue lemon in my glass – I’m so pleased I was sober the whole day. No one drank much, but in the old days I would have wired through the wine I had bought… I don’t think anyone even noticed I wasn’t drinking – certainly no one mentioned it, and I barely thought about it. I couldn’t help noticing how much son #2 enjoyed drinking, and he has been on at me all day about drinking the remaining beer and cider (the wine is on sale or return)
he has the genetic heritage, from his father and I , to have substance misuse problems, and he has anxiety which, of course the alcohol will partially alleviate .. one to watch I think.
There is a lot to think about at the moment.
Thank goodness for sobriety x