I need this like a hole in the head
I have a breast lump
A 2 cm firm lump in my left breast. Its not been there long – I know because I check regularly. Its mobile, and there are no really sinister features. But It’s there: I’m a woman and 1/9 women get breast cancer at some point in their lives. why NOT me. I was a heavy drinker which increases ones risk, and I have had enough stress in the last 3 years to increase my risk of ‘illness’. I really believe that emotional stress and anxiety take their toll on physical robustness.
So I have been to see my GP, I’m trying not to read too much into the fact that she did NOT say “Oh that feels fine, I am not worried at all, but just to be safe we will refer you …” But rather ” Ok, I’m going to refer you to the 2 week wait clinic -(for suspected cancer)” ; I’m resisting the urge to poke the wretched thing every 5 minutes to see if its gone ( it hasn’t); and I’m reasonably sanguine about the whole thing right now. I have had a couple of 3 am wobbles, in which my overactive brain jumps from worst case scenario to the grave in the space of 2 minutes… but in general I think remaining optimistic that its a) nothing to worry about or b) early, small and easily dealt with is probably more helpful
I have told my poor friend Kate, who with a poorly mother and a very sick husband surely doesn’t need more ( but she reads my blog so I cant keep it from her ) and my brother … When I get a clinic appt I will tell my mum. Do not intend to burden my kids with this, until and unless I must… ie hopefully never.
for the first time I miss ExP quite fiercely, as a hug and a reassuring arm would be pretty nice right now..
I have posted a picture of my gorgeous puppy, now named Jasper, at the top of the page, to remind me there are loads of things to look forward to and lots of things to be grateful for.
What a great puppy! Dogs are pure, unconditional love.
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So you read sober mummy?
She went through this in early sobriety and her blog is excellent
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.ca/
Big hug. I recently went through something similar and after numerous tests determined it is a benign cyst.
Very stressful. Hug that puppy.
Anne
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I do Anne, and I remember her finding a breast lump at about 8 months sober which is where I am now …..🌷Xx
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Sending love to you! I know how stressful this is and how hard to not let your mind take over.
Sweet puppy! I agree with Anne-keep hugging him!
Lynne
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So sorry you’ve now got to go through this on top of everything else Lily. One sending Positive wishes your way x
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Virtual hug and all good wishes. This too will eventually pass. Certainly you didn’t need this at all but you are strong and will get through it.
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Sorry to hear this Lily it must be incredibly stessful! Sending you lots of good healing energy your way. xxxxxxxxxxx
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Sending loving kindness your way. ❤️🙏🏼
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You sound like an amazingly strong woman, will be thinking of you xx
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Been there through the lump, further scans and biopsy. So natural to worry but so much better to just say you won’t worry until you have to. (hard to follow that advice sometimes though) Big hug. I understand how you might miss ExP’s arms right now. Very natural to grieve that too but just grab that adorable puppy instead!!!
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dear Lily. so sorry to hear that news. am thinking of you and trust you can handle this also.
and what anne said: hug that puppy. hug.
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Jasper is still with him mum right now- we collect him on Nov 19th !
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I’ve been there too. Ended up getting a biopsy but it turned out fine. I hope you’ll be saying the same too! I wonder if the boozing (I’m a fellow alcoholic) ends up giving us more fibrous tissues. Maybe
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Oh Lily, I just saw this. Stay positive. It’s all we can do sometimes (my darling Dad passed away last week and I am adrift also). Keep on keeping on and all that xx.
PS. Serious. Dog. Envy.
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Jojo, I’m so sorry for you loss. It must be very destabilising and stressful. Sending you strength and love lily xx🌷
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Thank-you x
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Lily I’m sorry to see this. Stay strong. Lots and lots of love and hugs. Tori xxx
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Appointment on Wednesday !
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