Eight months ago today (March 11th) I took my last alcoholic drink(s) . I didn’t know it then, but it was a turning point in my life.
Today feels like a day of reflection as I’m pondering a slightly uncertain future given the stubborn lump (which has not gone away ! – awaiting appointment)
So I woke early this morning – one thing I have started doing is going to bed earlier and rising earlier, so I can walk Lola in the morning, be back in time to get the boys up in good time for school / work, have time for a shower and more leisurely preparation for the day. I like this. I like being early for work, not rushing, I like watching Lola run and run with sheer joy in the early morning misty darkness; I like the exercise it gives me and I like the feeling of control I have over my day
so small blessings I counted as I dried off after my shower
- My boys, downstairs from me were chatting as they got ready. Nice chat. Not arguing.
- My dog is better trained, because as well as running after the ball we do training every morning.
- My puppy Jasper arrives next Saturday 19th November
- My house is warm
- I am fed, my children are fed.
- I have a loving extended family and very good friends
- I am sober and with my sobriety have come so many blessings
- I am in therapy – and although that sounds a bit ‘cliched’ , i genuinely feel I have for the first time a safe space where I can be honest, and not judged, actually affirmed.
- as a sober woman I have the insight and the self reflection necessary to make progress in that therapeutic environment
- I am separated from my Ex , which means the constant cognitive dissonance – doing something (being with him) against what I knew to be right (putting my children first) is gone.
- I feel contentment
- I have stable employment
- I never ever have to worry about how much I drink, driving the next morning, picking the kids up late, having an accident when drunk, I am no longer ashamed of my drinking
- I am calmer, my moods are stable
- I am genuinely close to my children. They TALK to me. And I share more of my day to day life with them because I have time, and energy.
- This is an evolving one, but my co-parenting relationship with my ex husband is now better that the civil one I have always tried to maintain. I would describe it as positive.
- My choices are positive ones for ME. And my family. All of us.
I feel truly blessed right now. And safer, more secure and more confident that my path is the right one than I have for some considerable time.
And on this day eight months ago I truly had NO IDEA what was just around the corner,
Bless you all, and I wish you a peaceful, happy day. Especially the two people IRL who share my blog, you are more important to me that you could ever realise.