Yesterday (and don’t all shout at once) i saw ExP. The boys are with their Dad on Saturdays and I desperately needed some figures and statements from the last financial year to complete my tax return. In the circumstances , dissolution of the partnership, I needed his input.
it was nice to see him. (Groan). we managed a senseful and appropriate business discussion which will enable me to get my stuff to my accountant.so far so good.
Then he suggested we go to the pub and watch the England rugby match. It’s on sky tv which I don’t have. So we did. Again, don’t all groan together. This blog is an honest account of where I am, and I can’t miss out the ‘blips’….
the pub serves becks blue , I didn’t drink alcohol obviously, he bought me a drink ! We watched the match , it was a good game with the right result if you are English. I love watching rugby and it’s something we used to do a lot together.
Ok.this the hard bit. It just felt nice, normal, calm. I enjoyed being with him, close to him. I remembered the good times. We didn’t really discuss anything controversial or difficult, stayed after the match for one more and then I went home. Alone.
And now I’m confused. Not really about the big stuff. He can’t live here, not with the boys. And I’m not paying for one more thing. But I’m clearly no where near ‘over him’ , and still vulnerable and still susceptible….
In one way I can see my progress; and it’s only 12 weeks since we split, and we were together 6 years, and I did adore him. On the other hand …. ggrrrrr