I have had a social weekend. I was out for dinner with family and a close friend on Friday, and last night I went to a party. It was an 18th birthday celebration, with a mix of young and (gulp) middle aged people, I have been extremely solitary and antisocial for the last few months, and I’m not sure that’s good for me. So I put on a frock, some lipstick and showed up clutching my Becks Blue lemon. 

I’m really glad I went. I enjoyed myself, I saw some people  I knew, and lots I didn’t, and it was a very nice, social, friendly not intimidating gathering. I didn’t stay late, partly because I’d left the puppy in his crate at home, partly because there was a lot of champagne flowing and I could really picture myself a few glasses down. But I’m so pleased I made the effort and didn’t chicken out at the last minute.

Someone pointed out to me, kindly, that I can’t change the past (ExP) , but that I can move on and reconnect with people, make myself a better future.

This morning I went for a walk with a very old friend of my family, she is in her 60’s and had been single since her very long standing marriage broke down. It was good to talk.

I have made an arrangement to meet with a fellow sober woman, who I ‘met’ over the Internet. I’m excited and really looking forward to that.

What have I learned from this weekend? That it’s probably time to make plans to see more people, do more things, make a more conscious effort to leave the past behind. 


  1. Yes, Dr John Kelly says that socialization plays a very important role in successful sobriety. Those who succeed tend to have good social networks. I think it is great that you are making the effort to meet up with another sober friend from the internet. I would love to meet someone in my own neck of the woods someday.

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  2. I find each time I socialize it gets better. I turned social events down for months as it was just too hard. Now I actually really enjoy it too. That first “no thanks I am not drinking tonight” is always an awkward 2 seconds for me and then it is over. I feel the path crumble a moment and then it firms up and my mood rises naturally without the alcohol and we all move on. I am working on getting through that transition more smoothly because I think it is really something in my head or my manor that feels odd. I am creating that half second, awkward beat between “no thanks I’m driving”, or “I not drinking because it disrupts my sleep”. No one actually cares or gives it much thought but me anyway.

    I envy your friend. One of my 2017 resolutions is a “real life” person I can meet with. I have done this on my own and it has worked well but a little outreach is probably good. My best Lily.

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  3. I am at the same crossroads as you — I need to start going to parties, etc., and meet up with old friends who are going to want to drink. I can’t just avoid that part of life forever, because I am missing out on the connections. I have only one rule: I get to leave when I want. I always drive my own car or have some other escape plan because when parties become a loud cacophony of drinkers, it’s boring for everyone else. I mean really boring.
    I’m glad you’re getting out there. It has inspired me to make more of an effort myself. ; )

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  4. Well done Lily. I think I need to try and follow your example. I have been a complete recluse since I stopped drinking. I have been out for coffee and my daughter’s birthday meal but that’s about it ! I have declined invitations for so long that I probably don’t get invited to things any more so perhaps I need to initiate something. Don’t think I am ready to host a party yet ! Xx

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