Yesterday was ‘Mothers day’ this side of the pond
My eldest son bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers and a lovely card. My youngest son brought me a coffee in the morning and took the dogs out with me first thing, and son 2 managed civility & a bar of chocolate.
Really I am very blessed.
But flat. So bloody flat.
There are two bottle of wine in the fridge. They have been there since Christmas; gifts that are there for when the odd visitor wants a glass of wine. They haven’t bothered me at all until yesterday, when there was quite an urge to dispel the flatness with a bit of oblivion. I didn’t, and I won’t. I feel strong and very sure I don’t want to drink, but I want SOMETHING … and I’m not sure what it is. I should be content, but I don’t feel it… and I dont really understand why
so I’m going to list my blessings here .. and see if I can dwell on these instead of the nebulous ‘what’s missing ‘ feeling
- I’m healthy. At least I have no life limiting illness that I know of, and I have my faculties and mobility
- My children are all alive and well
- Son 1 is doing pretty good – he’s maturing. Slowly, but it’s happening
- Son 3 is doing just great
- Son 2 … well he could be a lot worse
- My immediate family are well. I have a great brother and sister in law and support there
- My job is secure, and thus my income
- we are coming into Summer, the days are getting longer and warmer
- The doggies are gorgeous and love me !
- I have some lovely, kind & supportive friends
As I’m writing this, something is stirring at the back of my head… some thought that I can’t quite catch hold of Something I’m feeling, something that might be at the root of what’s bothering me … I’m going to try and capture it ….