I’ve been neglecting my blog. I’m sorry.
“Stuff” has been happening; and I have not been able to process it sufficiently to post coherently.
I think that’s over now. I’m not drinking (and have not drunk) …. I will also not be having further contact of any kind with my ex Partner. That’s over. It needed to be, and I have finally and irrevocably severed the thread that held up somehow together.
It was hard, is hard. But it needed to be done, and I am relieved to have done it.
A pivotal point came when I was reading an internet post. A woman wrote about her partner “why can’t he see what he’s doing us wrong?” About some truly awful behaviour from her partner. The answer was universal – he CAN see, but he doesn’t CARE.
And so it was for me … once again I was trying to get my ExP to see that his actions were unreasonable, beTing myself up for not finding the right words to “make him understand” … but if course he understands, but he doesn’t care … that’s the truth, and nothing will change it.
Time to walk away.
This time it’s complete severance. 100% . No remaining links. Finished.
And it will stick, because he no longer “looks good to me”. He looks selfish, unkind, and slightly pathetic. An adult man with no insight, no friends, no income and no future. A man who thinks he’s always right, without humility or self reflection. Not attractive any longer.
At last. Thank goodness.