I’m ok. I think
I can’t catch hold of my feelings long enough to describe and process them let alone write them down
I’m 480 days sober. And i’m 9 months out of a relationship that was domestically abusive. There, I’ve named it. I’ve said it. I’m trying so hard to ditch the guilt and the shame.
He threw a cup of coffee in my face, he called me “a fat fucking bitch”, he financially abused me and then screamed at me and threw things ( not to hit me – no, just to terrify me) when I tried to discuss his persistent failure to work; He abused my eldest son by taunting and repeatedly humiliating and putting him down. he used his size to physically intimidate us all and his force of personality to gaslight me into thinking I was the one going mad. And that is the tip of the iceberg.
I’m naming it. And I’m going to talk about it because I have done nothing to feel ashamed OF.
I’m angry now, but not always. But I’m free of him. No contact at all, in any sphere and i will never willingly see him again.
oh and i’m sober. And I’m quite proud of that too