No posts, no alcohol

I’m ok. I think

I can’t catch hold of my feelings long enough to describe and process them let alone write them down

I’m 480 days sober. And i’m 9 months out of a relationship that was domestically abusive. There, I’ve named it.  I’ve said it. I’m trying so hard to ditch the guilt and the shame.

He threw a cup of coffee in my face, he called me “a fat fucking bitch”, he financially abused me and then screamed at me and threw things ( not to hit me –  no, just to terrify me) when I tried to discuss his persistent failure to work;  He abused my eldest son by taunting and repeatedly humiliating and putting him down. he used his size to physically intimidate us all and his  force of personality to gaslight me into thinking I was the one going mad. And that is the tip of the iceberg.

I’m naming it. And I’m going to talk about it because I have done nothing to feel ashamed OF.

I’m angry now, but not always. But I’m free of him. No contact at all, in any sphere and i will never willingly see him again.

oh and i’m sober. And I’m quite proud of that too


8 comments

  1. Good for you! On all fronts.

    No matter how many voices – in your head or the real world – say/imply otherwise, being the victim in an abusive relationship is _never_your_fault_.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Lily Dear Lily you have come such a long long way im so happy for you you only deserve the best in life. Your a brilliant mum to your children you should be proud of what a wonderful sensible loving person you are One dsy the man in your dreams will come along he will adore you and you him There will be no hastell he will l work have a good professional job ( so you can retire early put your feet up) lol he will get on well with your children and life will be bliss !,,,,
    Take care of yourself Lily
    MARY XX

    Liked by 1 person


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s