Here we go again…

This is a vent, a moan, a release of frustration.

My ex husband is on the rampage again.

This morning I got a message for son 1 in Nepal, worried that ‘Dad seems to be having some kind of breakdown’ …. on further questioning it seems that Dad has got the hump with all His friends, and his brother, over Christmas arrangements, and (from what I can piece together) because some friends came to me for dinner last weekend. So what? The problem is that he twists the truth, sprinkles it with a liberal helping of venom and then serves up his bitterness and twisted reasoning to MY kids. Now sons 2 and 3 think their Uncle, Aunt and cousins are horrible and unkind; that they neglect their responsibilities and treat exH badly. Nothing could be further from the truth and I just feel really sick that he is infesting the kids with his nasty, vindictive, melodramatic opinions.

This time it’s not about ME directly, but he is angry that some mutual friends didn’t tell him they were coming to my place for supper on Saturday. Why on Earth he thinks he has a right to know, escapes me … but he has decided that he will be “severing all ties” with both friends and his brother. He expects it to be “extremely hostile”, which will “suit him fine”.

It’s hard to explain how completely fucked up he is. I think he has a black heart. He enjoys upsetting other people and twisting things to cause damage. He’s taken so much cocaine and weed over the years I honestly think he’s not in his right mind half the time. And my kids are e posed to this, over and over again. I wish now I had stopped co tact years ago, moved far away and kept the, safe from him. He brings NOTHING positive to anyone, least of all to his children.

I’m at a complete loss to know how to counteract the poison he drops in to the kids lives. How can I say, to them, he’s just evil, manipulative and cruel? That his brother and family distance themselves from him because he is SO toxic ….that his longstanding friendship group have slowly got tired of his bitterness, self obsession and relentless self obsession.

I can’t. I can only hope that one Day they see it for themselves. Who on earth TRIES to get their children to hate people? Who drags kids int petty adult squabbles? Who tries to corrupt a child’s innocence?

I feel so sad. And despairing … this will ever end, until he dies ….


    • It’s almost worse when he starts on people other than me – they Know I am not the monster he says I am, it other people? They are completely suckered in ☹️


  1. I expect your kids see the truth.
    And if they don’t all you can do is say your part and leave it at that.
    One day they will realize the truth.
    I’m sorry he is sucking you down. I hope you can find some joy with son 2.

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  2. Agree with the others. If they don’t see it now, they will in the future.. but they probably ‘get’ or understand more than you know, or deep down even more than they realise – conflicted perhaps. Sorry you have to deal with this. X

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  3. I am sorry to hear this, being surrounded by this toxicity. But people DO see what is happening after all. It may be cold comfort right now, in the midst of the heat, but the only thing you can control is your reaction. Coming from love is about all you can do. People will see this too.


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