New Years Resolutions

So, after Christmas comes the New Year …

When I was a young woman I loved New Year. A chance to go out with friends, get drunk  celebrate get drunk, usher in the next exciting chapter get drunk. Christmas was for family, New Year was for friends…Once I had children I still enjoyed new Year festivities got drunk , but usually at home, or at a close friends. NYE was still a highlight of the festive season, still a chance to get drunk have a good time and let my hair down. A few resolutions would be made over the next Day, a few were stuck to, most were abandoned often very quickly. The new Year trundled on …

Right now NYE seems like just another evening, I would be happy enough sitting at home in front of the fire, if the expectations of NYE past weren’t weighing on me. If I didn’t feel the (self imposed) pressure to ‘have a good time’. So I’m trying to look past NYE (which my youngest has generously offered to spend watching a film with me) , and peer into ‘next year’. I’m considering the ritual that is the making of ‘New Year Resolutions’ ..

I have mixed feelings abut this. In one way, I think it does no harm to take a look at ones habits, review ones dreams and goals, think over ‘the plan’: In another way, the marker of another year passed, another setting of another set of aspirations one can’t meet seems pointless depressing and futile. Most ambitions seem flexible -either through choice or sometimes necessity. My friend K has often talked to me about having ‘plans’ eg a one yer plan, and 5 years plan, a 10 year plan. Thinking about how you would like you life to be at the end of that time period, and working backwards to make a small set of stepping stones, smaller goals on the path that can be reached on the way to the ultimate destination.

I like this approach and have been musing on what goals I have that lend themselves to “chunking” in this way.

The first is my garden. I live in suburbia, about 10 miles outside London in that wide commuter belt that empties of suited business people every morning. My home is a detached property with a fair sized garden for the area. When I moved in it was rather ramshackle and we had some initial leveling and re-turfing work carried out to make it suitable for the 2 children we had at that time. Over the years I have done very little further, and the garden has been utilized for football, children’s games, a trampoline and other outdoor activities for three growing boys.

I would like to make more of the garden, and although its a daunting task, and I will need some help with certain aspects of hard landscaping, I think I could do a lot myself.  I could make a plan, perhaps over 5 years, and break it down naturally so that the tasks are neither so overwhelming nor so expensive. I think I would enjoy this, It will improve my environment, provide a sense of well-being and potentially achievement. I’ve been collecting Pins (on pintrest) and at the weekend will sit down and try to create a mood board, and a plan. More of that after the weekend.

So that’s one. Make a plan, make a start on a project to develop the garden…

garden

Number two: A goal to collect NO parking tickets over the next 12 months. I did this once before (and it was one I stuck to) Parking infringements are stupid, and a pointless waste of money. It just takes 1. swallowing the irritation when there is nowhere easy to leave the car and persist in looking until there is and 2. being realistic about how long I will be away!

Number three: I am going to try very hard to write an email to one of six people every week. So that I have some kind of correspondence with people I value but don’t contact enough …

So what else ? I have stopped smoking already, so no need for that one. Continuing not to drink is a given… Eating / exercising …. that perennial bugbear … In one way I would love to commit to increasing my regular exercise/ and increasing my vegetable intake. Keeping it vague means there is more chance I will achieve this, but: I am still carrying a hip injury from falling off my Bike last Winter, and I find that pressurizing myself over what I eat / don’t eat is one more stress I can do without …So deliberately, I am leaving these two off my NY resolutions for 2018.

I think perhaps, maybe, that’s enough ?

What are your NY resolutions ?

 


9 comments

  1. I am anti resolution.
    I don’t like goals.
    I used to plan and schedule everything. It fed my anxiety. And little ripple threw me into hysteria. I’m not sure how I lasted as long as I did, especially when drinking and with little kids.
    Now I try to live in the day.
    Perhaps I have gone too far the other way, but I have recently tried adding some accountability to my fitness plans and it has really distressed me.

    So my aspirations for 2018 are to live honestly, be kind, especially to myself, and spend less.

    I have too much stuff and buying is a bit of a coping mechanism for me. Sigh.

    Plus. Believe. Believe in myself and my value.

    Love to you! I can’t wait to see more garden stuff. My sister lives in London. Maybe some day I will get to visit you and have tea there while I’m visiting her.

    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sorry that was me getting mixed up Lily. I was reading both tours and Annie’s blogs this week🙄
    Happy new year and thanks for all the inspiration. I hope to be completely free of alcohol this time next year x

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  3. My goals are generally always the same… and when I look back over the years.. man I’m doing okay! To be healthier – mentally, physically… spend less/be less materialistic… like Anne I spend money emotionally, but not as bad as I was!
    But for this year…? I think I’m going to have to steal Anne’s word of the year – believe. Because that’s what I need to do. In who I am, mentally, physically, in what I can do, and most importantly believe in myself when it comes to relationships – family, friends, and that people might even be attracted to me!
    Rather than specific goals I have lists of things.. like ‘day trips’ or ‘small fun things to do’ and things to do when I’m ‘bored’ at home.. including things which could be seen as resolutions – learning a language, yoga, reading… but more like gentle reminders when I need them/need some inspiration.. and reminds me of all the things I love/can look forward to when I’m feeling meh. Xx

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