Sick

Yesterday I met some sick people. Spiritually sick.

And it scared me.

On the positive side I recognised them, almost straight away, and they looked deeply unhealthy and terrifying to me. despite their energy and charisma I could see right past that to something egotistical, selfish and potentially cruel.

On the negative side I felt incredibly vulnerable, like a newly hatched chick with only the nest to protect me from a whole host of predators who would gobble me up and spit out my bones without a second thought.

All the emotional energy I have put into my recovery this week, all the thinking and reading and reflecting has left me drained – I have made progress but I feel drained.

So I’m going to take this day to ask others for what I need, look for some peace and self care, and try not to overstretch myself.

I went to a quiet but powerful church service at 8am. A nice lady introduced herself and that simple, normal Interaction helped me to feel safe again.

But I’m rattled nevertheless


4 comments

  1. Your first paragraph deeply resonated with me. It can be unnerving when we encounter people who make us feel … unsafe, vulnerable, unsettled (or whatever the right word might be). When the little gut feel radar goes off, I get a lot of peace when I listen to it. And then to act, by keeping those people at arms length in my life. Whatever dark stuff might be going on for them isn’t ours to own. Boundary setting has helped me immensely.
    Thank you for sharing this and I hope you feel better soon. Sending virtual hugs and positive vibes from afar βœ¨β€οΈπŸ”†

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you. I talked to my sponsor about this yesterday, and her thoughts were exactly like yours. I think one of two of the people triggered an intense response in me due to their external charm and forceful personality which reminded me strongly if my ex. 😟

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Some people suck the air out of a room, and it is good that you recognize them before they suck you in to their evil.. My late in life relationship with the Bible helps me. There are so many verses that speak to your situation. Philippians 4:8 is a favorite, though I am still working on memorizing it. It is great when you can just pull up such a verse when you are in a bad situation. “Finally brethren, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, what so ever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, what so ever things are of good report; it there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard in me, do; and the God of peace shall be with you.”

    Liked by 2 people


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s